Do you often think in all-or-nothing terms? Is everything either great or terrible, easy or impossible? If you struggle to compromise with others because of your rigidity, you could be using black-and-white thinking. Here are several ways dichotomous thinking could be harming your mental health and your relationships with others.
What is black-and-white thinking?
Also known as polarized or dichotomous thinking, black-and-white thinking operates on the premise that there are only two possibilities: right or wrong, success or failure, good or bad. It simplifies the complexities of our lives, choices, and experiences. It’s an unhealthy coping mechanism for stress because it provides a seemingly clear-cut way of navigating the uncertainties we face.
Black-and-white thinking can sometimes be a symptom of mental illnesses, such as depression and anxiety. It can also be a characteristic of a variety of personality disorders, such as narcissism and borderline personality disorder (BPD), as well as eating disorders. However, you don’t need a diagnosed mental health condition to experience black-and-white thinking.
How does black-and-white thinking harm people?
Strained relationships
When we perceive others as either all good or all bad, we fail to acknowledge the inherent complexity and humanity within everyone outside ourselves. This perspective makes it hard to compromise and empathize with others. Relationships suffer when one or both people resorts to dichotomous thinking. It takes away the space for negotiation, collaborative decisions, and honest communication.
Perfectionism
When we see things in extremes, the idea of making mistakes becomes unbearable. This fear of imperfection can paralyze us, stopping us from taking appropriate risks, reaching for higher goals, and achieving more than what we limit for ourselves. It’s easier to give up on something when you’ve labeled it as impossible or unattainable.
Rigid thinking
Black-and-white thinking makes a person less able to adapt to unexpected changes or even day-to-day challenges. Those who have polarized thinking may feel frustrated when tasked with learning a new concept in school, adapting to a new job role, or even adjust their ideas about which foods are healthy.
Some researchers also think black-and-white thinking could play a role in prejudices such as racism and homophobia. When a thought pattern creates a rigid in-group and out-group, it’s a short walk to applying negative stereotypes to the “other.”
Emotional unrest
Dichotomous thinking makes the highs higher and the lows lower. Every success brings an exaggerated sense of accomplishment, but failure leads to a deep despair. This emotional rollercoaster can contribute to anxiety and mood disorders, as the constant swinging between extremes can take a huge mental toll.
How can you break free from black-and-white thinking?
Challenge your automatic thoughts
To avoid looking at a situation in extreme terms, intentionally question whether there might be a middle ground or alternative viewpoints. Ask yourself whether your thinking is based on assumptions that might not be true. Consider how another person might look at things.
Embrace gray areas
Recognize that situations, people, and experiences can and do exist on a spectrum. Everything in life has varying degrees of positive and negative qualities. By shifting your perspective, you’ll see the world as more full of opportunities and nuance than before.
List your options
Not every situation has two possible outcomes. When you’re faced with choices that stress you out, write out a list of options you can take and their possible outcomes. Try thinking outside the box.
Are you trying to go beyond black-and-white thinking?
If you’re feeling frustrated by your polarized perspective, therapy can teach you a better way. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the best therapeutic approaches for changing dichotomous thinking patterns. Your therapist will give you concrete strategies for adjusting your worldview.
To learn more about how therapy can break you out of black-and-white thinking, please reach out to us.