Do you desire to to feel heard, understood, and loved? Weren’t those the hopes you had when you and you partner started your relationship? Emotional intimacy and closeness are crucial parts of a satisfying connection. Both partners in a relationship need it. And when it starts to fade? Well, then the effort spent to reclaim it is well worth your time.

What is emotional intimacy and why is it important to your relationship?

Emotional intimacy is a basic human need. It is created by sharing deep feelings, insecurities, dreams, and aspirations without fearing your partner will judge you. It’s one key step toward a loving and lasting relationship.

Lacking this closeness can leave you both feeling alone in the relationship. This can fuel distress, conflict, and resentment. When emotional intimacy is missing in a relationship, it’s a red flag to address sooner rather than later.

Building emotional intimacy takes a commitment to honest communication and patience with one another. This single step is not a fix-all or all that a relationship requires. Still, if you can commit to growing together, you can improve the quality of your connection significantly.

What do you do when emotional intimacy is in need of repair?
There is any number of reasons emotional intimacy is lagging in your relationship. Maybe there are unresolved conflicts between you or the strain of an unexpected event drove a wedge between you. Perhaps a mental health conditions like intimacy avoidance is at play.

To be sure that such issues are processed and resolved completely, it is important to seek the help of a professional. Building or rebuilding your emotional bond is difficult, particularly if there are “stuck” places in your communication.

A therapist can help you navigate unproductive interaction, trauma, even past betrayals. You can do it, it’s worth it. Strengthening or reconnecting your emotional bond can help you: 

Work on your friendship. A relationship with strong emotional intimacy means sharing every day, enjoying inside jokes, and fostering more fun and novelty in your a connection, This makes you friends first. You want to restore the sense that at any moment you can comfortably have a deep, meaningful conversation or sit contentedly together in silence.

Stay independent people, together. The honesty and trust emotional intimacy brings to your relationship bolsters the security it takes to avoid codependency. You empower one another to pursue your dreams and goals. You encourage each other’s self-validation by being their cheerleader and a place they can go for comfort.

Ensure you have a safe space. Whether it’s good news or bad news, emotionally intimate partners are eager to tell one another about it. You can trust one another with secrets, without fear of judgment. The two of you can become a place of safety and security for one another.

Develop more sexual intimacy. This trust gives you an opportunity to have more open conversations about your sexual relationship. Vulnerability becomes normal. Talking about what you want and dont wan’t becomes easier without feeling unsafe or like a personal attack.

How to start building emotional intimacy in your relationship right now
Creating emotional intimacy in your relationship comes down to a few basic practices. You need to have patience with your partner while still admiring them. You need a willingness to communicate with them and accept them as their own person while encouraging them to grow. 

  1. Use “Remember when…” statements
    Spend time with your partner recalling your favorite memories from your last vacation. Remind them of the time you sang together in the car or the last time you both tried something new. By reminiscing about your history, you’re strengthening your positive perceptions of one another.

Remember what you love about them and what you’ve loved together. Past mistakes can count as reminiscing as long as you discuss those mistakes with respect and a sense of growth.

2.Focus on conflict resolution instead of conflict avoidance
Talk about your past with kindness and initiate the conversations with a softer, less judgmental tone. Communicate a willingness to listen to one another’s personal experiences while revisiting your shared history. Avoiding these interactions altogether builds walls and resentment.

Explore conflict management and resolution strategies together and with your therapist. Then use those to work through past hurts and misunderstandings.

3.Stop “fixing” them
Part of building emotional intimacy is accepting your partner for who they are. You may dislike or even disagree with how they handle certain situations, but mutual respect is an acceptance of how your partner differs from you. They may not wash the clothes or balance their schedule like you do, but emotional intimacy means choosing to love them, anyway. And maybe make it an inside joke.

Take the next step…
Are you ready to tackle the disconnect in your relationship? You can have the life and love you both want.

If you’re aslo ready to let a professional help you, were here to help. With time and commitment, you can work your way towards open communication and mutal satisfaction.

Work out effective ways to connect and deepen your relationship with an experienced couples therapist. Read more about couples counseling today. Then, please reach out for a consultation when the time is right.