Words of affirmation are one of the five love languages. Just like the others, it’s a significant part of their relationship to feel like they’re doing enough. Words of affirmation are any spoken or written words that are meant to confirm, support, encourage and empathize with someone in an incredibly positive way. It’s a specific way of giving and receiving love in a relationship. If you don’t know how to be an affirming partner or are interested in learning how to do it more often, start here.
If Saying It Out Loud Feels Awkward, Write It
Your encouraging words don’t have to be said aloud. They can be written to convey how you feel too. What’s being said to your partner to affirm them and their purpose will be more important than how you’re affirming them. Your words are everything. The good and bad. What you say leaves a lasting impact. How you say something leaves a lasting impact. Those who need this kind of affirmation type take every word to heart. Be sure to always think before you speak, and always choose your words wisely and with care.
Know What Words Your Partner Loves
There are certain phrases and words that your partner will take extra time to focus on. Maybe it’s hearing, “I love you,” more often, or that they’re doing enough and are enough for you. Your partner may have specific kinds of positive phrases to uplift them. Some people may want to hear affirmations after an achievement, some may want them directed towards their appearance. Someone may hope to hear affirmations every day. Someone may want these affirmations spontaneously. Show your partner that you know what they want to hear and when they want to hear it. It will go a long way.
Don’t Be Afraid To Ask
If you’re not sure about how to approach affirming your partner, don’t hesitate to ask them! It will go a long way for them knowing that you care enough to ask about the best way to make them happy. Effective communication is always key. Delaying in asking may potentially be delaying your individual and relationship happiness. Have a direct and open discussion about it. Getting this guide from your partner can help the two of you a lot. It shows effort on your part and openness on theirs. This reciprocated effort goes a long way in a healthy relationship.
After learning what you can do to affirm your partner, and how to do so, simply start. Start paying attention so you know what to say. Start being proactive in your affirming approach. And start learning their love language. The beginning is often the hardest part. Even so, showing up with intention will help your partner see that you are serious about making them happy and wanting them to succeed.
Show them that it is your pleasure to put forth this conscious effort. That kind of emotional energy is hard to dismiss and it is likely the relationship will only get better and better from there.
Make It A Habit
As you start getting more comfortable and familiar with affirming your partner, it will continue to get more natural. Continually be yourself, offer words of encouragement, and watch your relationship grow. Get creative in how you express yourself. Effort in the practice is what’s really important. Your partner is more concerned with how you feel about them and their role in your life than how you’re making that seen. Your partner and relationships will continually appreciate it.
For more ideas regarding a healthier relationship please read more about couples counseling and reach out soon for a confidential consultation.